I don’t even know what to title this week’s wrap up. Everything seems so colored by the multiple sad events in the world last week, particularly in Orlando. In my rational mind, I know that horrible things happen in the world every day, every hour even. Somehow, violation of such safe spaces has rattled me. I can’t wrap my mind around the horror of what happened at Pulse, but voices stronger than mine have spoken to that and should be allowed to speak to that. The little boy at Disneyworld was particularly close to home for us. We’ve been on that beach. We stay at the Polynesian, which is along that body of water. It is our family’s happy place and now it feels violated. Even more so, I live in Elkhorn. I run in the neighborhood where that poor family lives. This feels doubly close to home and my heart just aches for that poor family. No matter the circumstances, to lose your child is horrifying to contemplate. I confess, I’ve felt uneasy all week and was even nervous at lunch on Saturday with Oliver playing at the mall a mere 10 feet away from me. Somehow the fact that we were in public made me feel unsafe with him out of arms reach. I’ve always known the world is an unpredictable and dangerous place, on an intellectual level, but this week has brought that to home on an emotional level that has had me feeling nauseous and achy and ill at ease all week. As much as my thoughts and prayers are with all of those directly effected this week by these events and by others that didn’t even register on our collective national radars, I even more fervently hope that we can move beyond hopes and prayers to make these events less likely.
Needless to say, I didn’t run much this week. Any morning I woke up early to run, Oliver also seemed to get up early and I just couldn’t make myself leave him for time to myself. He was rattled by the little boy at Disney too. As much as he doesn’t know what happened, he knows something bad happened. He was really upset about it Wednesday morning, so we had a Mommy-Oliver date that I think we both needed to reconnect and soothe each others spirits a bit. Dancing in an empty cupcake shop definitely helped. 🙂
I did get some workouts in, I promise, although they were mostly walks in deference to the heat. I did a couple of hilly miles Tuesday and Thursday mornings that were mostly walking. On Wednesday, my FitBit gave me credit for 40+ minutes of activity based on the amount of hand motions I did and my elevated heart rate, but that was actually during a Q&A session I was doing for students so it wasn’t really exercise. I’m just a really energetic speaker. 🙂 That was definitely my good deed for the week. I stand in the center of a group of 75 college students and answer pretty much anything and everything about my job, which gets really interesting. One girl asked about work-life balance and approached me after my talk to explain that she was interested in my job, but also really wanted a family and was thinking that she couldn’t possibly have both. That made me (and my husband) incredibly sad, to think that you’d think you have to choose. That may be true for a select few jobs, but we naively think that if you work at it as a couple, you can make anything work.
I really did get a little revved up during that talk!
Over the weekend, I did at least get in more official workouts. I ran 5 incredibly hot and sweaty miles Saturday morning. They were the most depressing miles I’d had in ages and not because of the weather or my pace (abysmally slow thanks to the heat). Our neighborhood is full of blue ribbons to show support for the little boy killed at Disneyworld and every time I think of him, my heart shudders a bit. That, coupled with the bizarrely large number of nests and baby birds blown out trees and killed in a bad storm we had Friday night made for a run with entirely too many reminders of death.
Sunday was better. Oliver and I started the day with an alphabet scavenger hunt at our grocery store, which got both us of moving at a steady clip around Hy Vee for 30 minutes while we hunted for things that started with A, B, C, etc (V was hard and X pretty impossible!). This both got us a little exercise and allowed Darrell the chance to sleep in for Father’s Day. 🙂
After that, I went for a hilly 4 mile walk before we started Father’s Day festivities of taking Darrell out to lunch at his favorite taco place and then dinner at hibachi. My NSV this week is that I wore a too-short dress but instead of feeling self conscious, I found myself frequently admiring my own legs. 🙂 My other NSV? All of this sadness had me contemplating chucking this whole tracking and eating right thing just to drown my sorrows in cookies but I resisted. Little victories can be big.
I’m grateful this week for every moment I get to hold my family safe this week and every week. I hope for the same for you!
Thanks as always to Tricia and Holly for hosting our link up! I’m hoping that reading everyone else’s wrap ups this week will get me motivated to get more on board with my summer exercise plan so I’m ready for that hike of Pulpit Rock I have coming later this summer and for marathon training in August! I have a 10K coming up this Saturday and a 5K on Sunday, so at least I know I’ll get some miles done this week. Fingers crossed that the weather cools a bit by the weekend!