Working through the Beck Diet book again, I decided to make a new list of “Reasons to Lose” rather than keep working with my original list. My perspective may be a little different now than it was years ago, before I’d ever successfully lost weight.
1) To protect my health (My heart, my blood pressure, my joints)
2) To take better care of my family (When I eat better, they eat better)
3) To remind myself I’m worth it (It’s okay to invest this effort in myself among all of the other things I do)
4) To fit in my favorite clothes again (I’d finally settled into my lower weight enough to build a wardrobe I was loving!)
5) To stop feeling that nagging sense of failure (about this at least)
While I call this my “Reasons to Lose” here, this list is more about my health and my health habits more than my size (well, except for #4). Getting back to a smaller size would be nice, but the most important thing is to rein in all of those times I’m letting the fact that I’m stressed lead to food choices I’ll regret. Exhibit A) The pancakes I ordered last night because I was stressed about work. It’s wasn’t a rationally chosen indulgence – it was a stress-induced carb fest.
I’ve written my list in my “book” – I’m in this book every day to keep track of notes and to do lists. This morning, I read my list before I started my day. I’ll read it again in a little while to remind me why I don’t need the pastries I’m going to pass at the coffee shop on the way to my 1 o’clock meeting.
The first time around, I kept my list on my phone so I could always see it and it really helped. I haven’t looked at my original “reasons why” list in a while. First on that list? Diabetes. Yikes. Can’t believe I forgot that when I was listing things for my health! I’m always going to be at high risk for diabetes thanks to my family history and personal history of gestational diabetes. Add my risk of high blood pressure and the lupus (and lupus meds!) on top of that and my poor kidneys would probably appreciate it if I could avoid diabetes.
More energy was on that list – and something I definitely need more of now! There were a couple of clothes related things (it’s self care, right?) and my favorite:
“Be light enough for my husband to carry me like Rhett Butler.”
With Darrell’s back, that’s never going to happen no matter how small I get. Ah well. 🙂
Looking at the two lists, I can’t help but notice that my old list was a lot more optimistic in tone. I’m a little sad that #3 and #5 are on my current list, but I’m being honest with myself. Hopefully when I re-evaluate this list with a few months of healthy habits behind me, that nagging sense of failure will be gone and I’ll have NO DOUBT I’m worth. Because I am.
Do you have a “why” list when you try to change your lifestyle?