Strong or strongly? Grammar is tricky. 🙂
This morning, I’m sitting in the Omaha airport, waiting for a delayed flight that is going to result in a mad dash through the Denver airport later this morning in hopes I can catch my next flight or a seriously delayed arrival into Portland. Definitely not a relaxing start to my last trip of the year, but because I’m determined to finish this year on strong footing in terms of my food choices, I’m not letting it derail me.
In the old days, I’d have used this an excuse to get a peppermint mocha (haven’t had one yet!) and a muffin at the coffee stand because somehow travel stress means I deserve more calories? Screwy logic, but I know I’m not the only one who falls into that trap sometimes. Instead, I resisted that urge and got a large coffee and a liter bottle of water. I then promptly took myself away from temptation. I’m actually sitting behind the gate check in station and physically cannot see all of those treats. 🙂
This morning, I got an email from National Weight Control Registry telling me it was time for my annual check in and it was just the reminder I needed to keep me on a strong path to finish the year. This year, I really wanted to work on improving my relationship with food and I’ve had a lot of success in that regard. Am I heavier than I was this time year? Yep – about 10 pounds. However, I’ve learned a lot with those ten pounds.
- I’ve lost a lot of my fear of food. My first response to an unexpected treat in my space or an unplanned food outing is no longer that tensing with fear like it used to be. For the most part, I’m a lot more calm when I have to make those decisions now.
- I can take a break for holidays or travel and get right back on the wagon. This is a HUGE part of living like a normal food person for me. I used to get really worked up about vacations or holidays or other food events, but I’ve learned now to let some indulgences into those times and get right back on track when that time is over. It’s fairly automatic now, which I consider a big success.
- I’m getting better at managing and recognizing binge danger zones, big and small. I’ve learned to be more open with others when I’m struggling with the big stressors that put me in binge territory, like this one. I’ve also gotten better at recognizing the little red flags that I’m entering slippery territory because of a lot of microstresses, which occurred on both our vacation to Disney and at Thanksgiving last week. My biggest clue to myself that I’m heading into the binge zone? That first thing I hurriedly eat and hide the evidence. Poor Darrell – I did this with a cupcake one night at Disney and felt so guilty and worried about it the next day that I confessed it to him. It made me feel immensely better to get rid of the hiding element, such a big component of binges for me, but confused him more than a little. 🙂
- I’m in the same jeans I was at the beginning of the year, which was technically my only “weight” goal – not a specific number. Of course, those are two year old jeans that have stretched lovingly with me but they still fit right out of the dryer, so that’s a win. I know if I went jeans shopping today I’d probably be in a size or even two above that, which is a good reason not to go shopping.
Does all of this mean I’ll coast through the holiday season? Of course not. I’ll keep up tracking, because I know that helps me, with a break for Christmas (because that’s a worthy indulgence). I’ll keep weighing in and do some measurements (weigh in this morning 182.8, which is probably still in the process of sliding down from travel bloating). I’ll keep up with activity – especially once this monster cold I’ve got is gone.
Most importantly, I’ve realized that with these binge triggers sneaking in more often, I’ve realized I’m not taking much time for myself and letting the stress accumulate. I’m not half marathon training, so I don’t have that two hour run anymore. I know I’ve had a lot of vacation lately but the moms out there know that vacation with your kids isn’t necessarily relaxing, right? My goal this month is to do one little kind thing for myself each day and one big kind thing for myself each week. I’m starting to feel the kind of stressed and run down that came right before my lupus went crazy and got me admitted to the hospital with that weird lymph node thing last year – I do NOT want to end up there again.
How do you take care of yourself during the crazy holiday season? How are you planning to finish the year? We’ve still got a whole month to make good choices and take care of ourselves! Let’s help each other do that.