Today is a crazy busy day. I have a huge grant due at work on Monday. Ideally, it would have been finished on my end today. Instead, my week got derailed by a sick kid (who is thankfully getting better) and extra days at home.
Today, I had to take him up to the hospital for labs (he was such a tough guy!), back to preschool and then I took myself to work to frantically work for a few hours and try to incorporate a colleague’s last minute edits of the grant into my most recent draft. At 2:15, when my alarm went off to remind to leave so I could get to O’s fourth of July parade at school, I was struggling with getting the grant within the page limits thanks to the new edits. I ended up leaving late, still not done, but struggling to keep my promise to my kid.
Naturally, despite speeding across town in the rain, I showed up after the parade was over. 😦
O seems happy that I just made the effort and not scarred by the fact that I didn’t actually watch him walk around the parking lot, but I feel like the gum on the underside of the table. This afternoon I failed both the work (because I didn’t get everything finished before I left) and the mom part of working mom.
I’m reminding myself right now that I’m trying. With all of this, every day, I’m trying. That trying at the moment looks like resisting my free birthday pastry at Panera (where I stopped to try to work for a few minutes before next appointment – thanks WiFi! – and finish up the grant) and instead, choosing hazelnut coffee and yogurt.
I’m trying and that’s good enough. Whew. I just need to say that to myself about a million more times and I’ll believe it, right?