I just realized, in looking back at my posts from this time last year, that I never set any real goals for 2014 other than my running goals. I’ll be updating my running goals for 2015 in a post next week (still contemplating them – hints of mojo coming back, which is affecting them a bit). Today, as I close out one year and look to another year, I find myself wanting to define my goals for the year.
I feel like I’m in a different place in maintenance now that I was at this time last year. A year ago, I was in sort of honeymoon phase of weight loss maintenance, where I was actually below my “goal” weight and everything seemed so easy. Somewhere in the last 6 months, things stopped being easy. I’ve watched the scale creep up and up and up and my clothes fit tighter and tighter. Looking on the bright side, I’ve only regained 10-15 pounds of the 110 I lost. On the not so bright side, I’m definitely approaching the outer edge of what works for my clothes and I’m finding myself angry and frustrated with the scale a lot lately. I really don’t want to spend another year living with either of those.
With that in mind, here are my goals for the year:
– Stay in my current pants size: When I think about it, I get a lot more upset about not being able to wear a certain pair of pants anymore than I do about the number on the scale (and conversely, being able to fit in certain pants definitely negates the negative feelings about a weigh in). Yesterday, my weigh in was 176.9 which I was not pleased with from a number perspective by any means, but then I was able to slip easily into a pair of pants that had been snug just a week or two ago and was able to remind myself that the number on the scale comes from lots of things, but how my clothes fit tells me a lot more about what my body is actually doing. A size 6 is definitely a lot narrower in terms of what weight works with them than my former plus size clothes. I could range over 20+ pounds in those days without worrying about buying new clothes, but it’s closer to a 10 pound range these days. That’s probably a good thing. I don’t want to buy new pants. I still remember how excited I was to buy all of these smaller clothes when I’d hit my maintenance weight! I want to fit in the pants I currently have, so I’m going to work on letting go of a target number on the scale and focus on how my clothes fit. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop weighing in, because that’s been shown too many times to be a key to maintaining weight loss, but it does mean that I’ll stop stepping on the scale so often and I’ll work on how I let that number control my mood.
– Find a mental and emotional balance in my relationship with food and my weight: No biggie, right? I think this isn’t something achievable in a year, per se, but it’s something I need to keep in the forefront of my mind. On the plus side, I rarely view food as the enemy or something to fear anymore. That’s definitely progress over the last couple of years. As I talked about above, I do find myself getting angry and frustrated a lot though. Yes, it is not fair that I don’t cheat, that I’m eating less than I was back in the “Simply Filling” experiment in the fall and yet I weigh more than I did then (and I weighed more then than I did in the first 6 months of maintenance, on the normal plan like I use now). Anybody who has ever lost weight or tried to lose weight knows that fair has nothing to do with it. There is no “being good” or “being bad”. I really need to work on my mindset about all of this and finding some kind of peace with this process. I think reframing things in terms of clothes will help. I also think keeping my mind on positive things beyond the scale will help. With that in mind, I’m going to use my gorgeous new blank book (Thanks to my brother’s wife!) to make note every week of at least one thing I’m grateful for, at least one good deed I’ve done and at least one non-scale victory. The big picture is key here. 🙂 I’m also going to focus more on the quality of the food I’m eating and it’s value as fuel for a healthy body more than it’s “cost” in terms of calories/Points. I confess I currently think about it more in the latter sense. My weekly wrap-ups will include a reflection on my food quality choices in addition to my work outs, because I’m the kind of person who needs to write things out in order to process them.
These are some pretty big goals, I know, which could be a way to set myself up for failure. To help wrangle them into shape, I’m going to keep them posted in my new little office (pics coming soon!) and be sure I incorporate them into my monthly and weekly goals.
Now I’m off to buy a new coat for my dog. She likes to be outside with our lab mix, even though she’s a little old lady and it’s below zero, so we need lots of layers for her. Don’t worry, we don’t let her stay out as long as she’d like and they mostly hang out in the heated doghouse when they’re out there. 🙂 We’ll also work our annual tradition of a canvas with Oliver. We’ve done this for the last few years with Oliver on New Year’s Eve and I love seeing how things change over time!
Anybody have exciting plans for New Year’s Eve? I confess that I’ll be asleep. I have no exciting plans or intention to see the ball drop but have every intention of getting a good night of sleep to start my year.