I made a “Reasons to Lose” list when I first started Weight Watchers thanks to the advice in the Beck Diet (seriously great book) and referred to it often in times of temptation and frustration with the whole weight loss process. Now time is flying by and I realize that I’m two months away from hitting my one year anniversary of my goal weight. You guys know that off and on throughout this year I’ve struggled with worrying about what my goal weight should be and keeping bad eating behaviors in check even though I’m done losing weight and with the few pounds I’ve regained since I stopped the half marathon training plan. With all of the mental struggles of maintenance, it’s beyond time I made a list for myself to remember why I’m doing this and why I want to maintain my healthy weight and my healthy habits. Like my “Reasons to Lose” list, I found myself writing down a mix of serious and not so serious things on this list and like my “Reasons to Lose” list, I think this list is something I need to revisit often and update.
– Even though I know losing weight has helped my risk of diabetes, the fact is that my family history and my history of gestational diabetes and the years of damage I did to my insulin receptors mean I’m still at risk for diabetes. After doing finger sticks four times a day for three months when I was pregnant, I know I absolutely want to avoid diabetes as long as possible and a healthy weight, diet and exercise will help me stay there.
– I have a little magpie watching everything I do (and repeating most things I say) so I know that I have to continue to serve as a good role model for him in my food and exercise choices. I worry about the negative messages I send during this process too, though. He’s fascinated with the scale and likes to weigh himself and me regularly. Right now I think it is just the flashing lights he enjoys, but I need to careful about how much of a role that thing is playing in his little world.
– I don’t want to buy new clothes. I’ve finally settled into a size and would like to just stay there for a while, especially as I’ve invested in a suit and some pricey slacks for work.
– I just resized my engagement ring and certainly don’t want to outgrow it again!
– I’m looking forward to joining the National Weight Control Registry and contributing to research about how people maintain their weight after losing a significant amount. The science geek in me is looking forward to being a data point.
– As much as I believe intellectually for myself and wholeheartedly for anyone else doing this struggle, I painfully have to confess that a motivation for me is avoiding that feeling of “failure.” I believe wholeheartedly that regaining weight doesn’t mean you’ve failed. This is an incredibly hard process, psychologically and physiologically, and gains happen so often. It really is a never-ending process, which means you never really “succeed” or “fail” in long term. I believe it has to be day by day. And yet . . . the perfectionist, over-achieving kid in my brain pipes up all too often with the refrain of “everybody’s watching, you don’t want them to see you fail.” The fear of failure was part of the reason I put off trying to lose weight for so long – if I failed to lose, I’d be disappointed in myself and humiliated if others noticed I’d failed. If I lost and regained, like the statistics say we’re going to right? – then it would be really obvious to everyone I’ve failed and I am just not in the mental position where I could extend the same compassion and forgiveness to myself in that instance as readily as I can completely and honestly give it to those around me who are in this struggle. How can I honestly believe that for others in this position (and I truly do) there is no such thing as failure and yet say that kind of thing to myself? That is definitely a disconnect between “How I’d talk to a friend” and “How I’d talk to myself” that I definitely need to work on for my overall emotional health, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the most uncomfortable thing on my “Reasons to Maintain” list.
– Okay, back to a more lighthearted issue to wrap things up: I like buying small underthings at the lingerie store. 🙂 New pajamas from Soma are on my Mother’s Day wish list and my husband and I were laughing at the fact that he’d be shopping for size small clothes. I don’t think I ever allowed him to buy me clothes before and he certainly didn’t know my size back then.
Do you keep a list of reasons to lose or maintain your weight?