A Little More Each Day

One working mama learning to run & to maintain my 100+ pound weight loss!

Mommy guilt

on February 8, 2014
I had a fun and fluffy post about my husband’s birthday cake planned for today, but instead you’re getting a dose of mommy guilt. Sorry, but this is the place I vent and process my thoughts, so I’ll be using it for that today (and I know others, moms or not, struggle with the same issues so maybe it’ll help someone out).
 
Yesterday, on the drive home from school, O and I were talking about the things he was going to do over the weekend. Specifically, he and his dad went to the library today to “Daddy and Me” story time. O loves the library and the story lady gets really into it, so he likes when they get to go. Mommy is not allowed to go (and don’t get me started on the lack of mommy and me story times on the evenings or weekends for working moms) so I’ve never actually been to this story time with them, but I specifically wouldn’t be joining them this weekend because I’m working. I told O I wouldn’t be coming and he said “I know. You running.” He said it like he thinks it is the coolest thing, which you would think I would be excited by and normally I am. I love being a positive role model for him in that way. Instead, I felt a twinge of guilt at the time I spend away from him running. He picked me to do bedtime last night, so that feeling of guilt went away but it returned in full force this morning.
 
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I went to Weight Watchers at 7 and then to the gym to run for an hour before going in to work at 10 because that’s what made the most logical sense. However, that means it is 1130 and I still haven’t seen my guy. Slogging through yet another hour on the treadmill this morning, that felt like absolutely the wrong to spend my morning. I know in the grand scheme of things, that hour I chose to spend at the gym instead of hanging out in bed watching cartoons with O does not matter. It is completely small stuff. I know that taking care of my health is an investment in my family, in that it allows to be with them longer and healthier than I would have been before. I know all of that, and yet this morning, I felt selfish and angry and disappointed in myself. So, for any body who thinks I make it seem too easy to fit all of this training and workouts into the life of a working mom (not that anyone has said that, but I know I think that sometimes reading people’s blogs!), I assure you, it isn’t always easy, logistically or emotionally. There are just days where it is going to suck. I know this day will pass and I know that I am now heading out of here to meet the world’s cutest little lunch date. And I know that I feel a little better getting this out there, so thanks. 🙂
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10 responses to “Mommy guilt

  1. I know just how this feels Jess! Right now I’m dealing with it financially. We have had a blow to our financial well being and I have guilt about the trip, even though it will be fine, other than some food for the last 2 days, the trip is already paid for. It doesn’t help me to not feel guilty though that I’ll be headed off to WDW when it feels selfish of me.

    • Ugh. I’m sorry to hear that for you Karen. I’ve been in that position financially on other trips and it is an odd feeling to go do something that feels so indulgent when money is tight but when you’ve already paid for it, there’s no sense in letting this go to waste. So glad to hear about your ten miler! I hope everything else eases up a bit for you too.

      Sent from my iPad

      >

  2. courage2run says:

    I’m right there with you!!! Being a mother of three, it is an contant battle in my brain about the time I spend on my ‘me time’. I have discovered though I am a better me because I am a runner.

  3. Hugs! We’ve all been there; I feel it all the time. The times I come home late from work because I stop to run on my way home or the times I go for a run during non-nap time, but you are absolutely right. Not only are we setting a wonderful role model for our children when we run, but we are also taking care of ourselves so we can be the best moms, wives, friends, employees, people period. It’s definitely a balancing act, but just know you are not alone and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts so that others (like me) know we aren’t alone either.

  4. Aww, I can understand the guilt, but you are getting yourself healthy to be around a long time for those kiddos! It is hard though but the quality time you do spend with him, just make it all the more special!

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