A Little More Each Day

One working mama learning to run & to maintain my 100+ pound weight loss!

Don’t wait for the “skinny” version of you to have fun!

on January 9, 2014

I’m spending lots of time at the gym this month thanks to the frigid weather and I’m impressed, as always, by the large number of people that turn out in January to start working out more. It makes for cozy conditions on the treadmills, but at least they have enough equipment that we aren’t limited in our time or anything. That would put a definite damper on things with half marathon training!

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While I was in the gym this week, I walked past the rock wall for the thousandth time in the last year. I always view it through the hazy lens of the door (like you see here) but never actually step into that space.

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The rock wall is one of those things that looks fun and yet I’ve always been afraid to do, despite lots of reassurances from spotters and others that my worries are silly. I’ve always worried that I’d be too heavy for just one person to hold as a spotter or that my arms are too weak to pull myself up there. I have the same fears about riding a horse actually – that I’m too heavy for a horse or that I couldn’t pull myself up.  

I have vivid and humiliating memories of being on a trip with a bunch of colleagues where we were riding on tube being pulled behind a boat. After my one trip on the tube, I came over to get back into the boat and wasn’t strong enough to pull myself out of the water. It took two big guys to come help pull me in (with lots of struggle on their part) and I actually pulled off a side railing on the boat trying to pull myself in. What had been an enjoyable afternoon playing in the water turned into an incredibly humiliating experience that still makes me feel a little queasy.

I know now that I am more than strong enough to tackle that rock wall and that I am not too heavy to ride a horse or be held by a spotter and I promise myself (and all of you, so that you can hold me accountable) that I will tackle both of those things this year. After the half marathon – no need is risking injury pre-Princess! The more important thing, though, is that I should have never let my weight keep me from doing those things in the first place. I know, objectively, that moment on the boat stands out in my mind far more than anyone else there that day. None of the rest of them remember that moment because it wasn’t a big deal to them, just like it truly isn’t a big deal to the guys at various rock walls over the years who have assured me that I could do it. Looking at me they have to know I’d be harder to hold than the average kid but that doesn’t mean they can’t handle it and that I shouldn’t do it.

Whatever your “rock wall” is, whether it is going on a trip or getting clothes that make you feel good or starting dating (another thing I put off for a long time because of my weight, but that’s a different story!) please don’t let it stand in your way! Remember that it is the “before” version of you that is making all of these truly scary first steps. That person can do anything!

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8 responses to “Don’t wait for the “skinny” version of you to have fun!

  1. playfulpups says:

    I agree!!! Great post! Weight loss was kind of a catch 22 for me-I would think, “I can’t do that cuz I’m fat”, but I never lost weight because I never did anything! Once I got over that, I lost the weight and am much happier! 🙂

  2. Lauren says:

    What an awesome post! This is so true, and I am so glad you will be overcoming your ‘rock wall’ after the half!

  3. Fantastic post and a great reminder! I definitely let my weight get in the way of fun sometimes. The rock wall has always intimidated me mainly because I’m afraid how I would look on the wall compared to all of the “athletic” people. Life is too short to let weight hinder my ability to have fun, especially since I am making strides to improve my weight. 🙂 Thanks for this post!!

  4. […] Don’t wait for the “skinny” version of you to have fun! Jan […]

  5. […] week, it’s going to be easy to point out my NSVs! I tackled the rock wall last night!! Climbing the rock wall at the gym is one of the things on my “former fat girl […]

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