A Little More Each Day

One working mama learning to run & to maintain my 100+ pound weight loss!

Fear of the slippery slope

on November 11, 2013

You know in a yoga class, there’s always that period of time at the end where you lay back or sit and reflect (that has an official yogic name I’m blanking on right now)? I have never been very good at that part. My mind always starts to work through my to do list  or some other type A-non yogic thoughts. In my yoga workshop Saturday, that didn’t happen. Maybe it was because I’d been there for two hours and all of those type A thoughts had already passed on through. Maybe my mind just needed that time more than usual. Regardless, I realized something that has been hanging in the back of my mind for the last few months as I’ve struggled with whether or not to change my goal weight. It’s just a number after all and I more than accept scientifically that those 2-3 pounds don’t matter as far as my health is concerned. Yes, it might feel like admitting failure but even I would get over that after a little while. So why am I struggling with this so much?

The truth is, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that if I let these 2-3 pounds go and say that 166 is good enough then before long I’ll say that 170 pounds is good enough and further and further until suddenly I’m back where I started at 275 pounds.

Before and After 2009 to 2013

For me, that doesn’t just mean buying new clothes. Obesity comes with serious health risks for everyone and for me, with my personal history of high blood pressure and gestational diabetes and my strong family history of type II diabetes, that would put my health in real and present danger. The data about weight loss maintainers is pretty dismal and I’ve talked to so many in real life and online who’ve lost as much as I have and regained it, some more than once. There’s nothing about me that is any stronger or better than those people, so who is to say the same won’t happen for me? I know there’s never a guarantee in life – I just have to choose each day to make healthy choices and pick myself up when I fall down.

At the same time, I know there has to a be a “danger zone” weight to serve as an alarm to keep me on track and I’m not sure if moving that “red line” now will help or will just make it easier to keep fudging along the way. Sigh. I know this is something that is different for everyone and that only I can decide, but if anyone has any advice I’d appreciate it! At least now I’m being honest with myself about what is actually bothering me about this whole thing.

This kind of revelation may be another reason to stick with my goal of yoga once a week, even more so than my tight right hip.

Do you have an acceptable weight range you stick to? Has it evolved over time?


8 responses to “Fear of the slippery slope

  1. Joey says:

    Maybe your body is leveling off because this is what is natural for it. You’ve come a very long way and I don’t think you’ll let yourself slip on the weight. It’s not you anymore. Just let go of judging yourself and let your body maintain weight naturally. And you look great, by the way!

  2. Oh man, I wish I had some answers, but I struggle with this as well…AND, I have slipped down the slope and gained it back, over and over. Never all the way back up, but enough that I feel like I’ll never get to where I really want and be able to STAY there. I think you just have to do what your gut tells you. Sure, it’s just a couple pounds, but maybe those couple pounds are what you NEED mentally to not start down the slippery slope. OR, maybe not, maybe where you are at right now is a good place for you. LOL…I’m great help. 😉

  3. leannenalani says:

    My acceptable weight range has fluctuated but not too much for the exact fear you mention – letting go too much. I’m one of those people who has lost those 60-75 pounds about 5 times but this is the first time I’ve kept it off this long. Blogging helps. Never stopping with the healthy habits I was doing while dieting has also helped. I’ve continued to exercise, drink lots of water, watch what I eat, and attempt to eat treats in moderation. Even if I go overboard I make sure to get back into those healthy routines due to that fear of gaining it all back. I think that fear is healthy as long as it doesn’t plague you. Anything that keeps you accountable and conscientious of your health in a way that doesn’t cause you too much stress will probably be helpful. 🙂

  4. […] Universe wants me to know that it approves my decision to change my goal weight, no matter what my fears about it […]

  5. […] out my goal weight – After much internal debate (see TMI on BMI and Fear of the Slippery Slope) I decided to have my doctor write me a letter to change my goal weight and naturally I have been […]

  6. […] month’s topic was definitely something I struggled with a few months ago – how do you know when you’re done losing weight and ready to try to maintain? […]

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